Chef With Platter

Comic - Chef With Platter

Author Commentary

Little goofy, little dark.  Hopefully sufficiently amusing to be worthy of PartiallyClipsage.

Given more time, I like to think I could've come up with something less appetizing for the name of the product being pushed here....but if nothing else I'm proud of putting forth "bulge" as a presumably-dough-wrapped food unit.  In a world where we've accepted "bite" and "bit" and "finger" and "ring" and "stick" and "chunk" and "dunk" and  "smacker" and "pocket" and, god help me, "nugget" as perfectly valid and advertisement-worthy names for wads of meat or meat-filled substances, it's hard to go beyond all that, but "bulge," appropriately, gave me a lump in my throat when I thought about it, so it won.  Fish seemed like the worst thing to throw in it (though potatoes and pork were both considered) and of course I had to add "cheez."

Suggestions for better (or worse) product names are beyond welcome - there's a "comments" section for a reason, dammit!

Have an awesome week, won't you?


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Recent posts... (See full thread)
Chef With Platter

02/11/2015 05:33 am
Tofushi! :-)

Brass Orchid
02/11/2015 10:01 am
I think that if Cheez Blasted Fish Bulges ever gets out to the general public, it will be a meme within a week and a real product within a year.

02/11/2015 11:11 am
Fish was definitely the choice over pork, and "cheez" is indispensible, but I think I have a worse candidate for the noun - "Cheez saturated fish nodules". Thank yew, thank yew verra much.

02/11/2015 12:12 pm
Okay, I thnorked at "fish nodules." Thank you.


Million zillion
02/11/2015 04:40 pm
"fish lumps"
"fish clumps"
"fish wads"
"fish concretions"
The page for "lump" is an absolute goldmine... Well, you can mine _something_ there, anyway.

02/11/2015 09:12 pm
Strainer-extruded catterpillar pasties.

02/12/2015 08:50 am
Chicken McGobbetts?

Brass Orchid
02/13/2015 09:06 am
Hmmm... There may be legal issues with the Pepperidge Farm Corporation if you try to market Cheez-Blasted Fish Bulges. They may object.

02/15/2015 10:52 pm
Slurpy Earthworm Yummies

I've read there really is a type of earthworm in Australia/Indonesia 3 feet long. I won't elaborate here.

Sea Cucumbers are for real. They live at the bottom of the ocean.

The Glass Sponge is real, and they make something related to glass.

Theo Bromine
02/16/2015 03:02 pm
I dunno - I think "bulges" hits the sweet spot of not being so off-putting as to immediately gross people out (as for example "clumps", "wads", or "concretions" might), so it sticks in one's mind for long enough to make the eventual eeeww that much more powerful (reminds me of Margaret Atwood's "ChickieNobs - And bonus points that"bulges" is an anagram of the snack "food" Bugles.

03/05/2015 11:31 pm
Curdled bovine mammary secretions are, in fact, indespensible.

03/09/2015 12:35 pm
You want unappetising, yet somewhat plausible, food shapes? Hm.
'Clots' 'lumps' 'blobs' 'eructations'. 'Carbuncles' & 'barnacles' would be ideal for the kind of frozen food that has a pirate on the box.